Each of you must prepare your documents and gather information for each mediation session. Taking the time you need to organize your finances, and sharing information with your partner early on will save you time and money in the long run. If information is missing or incomplete, it can be difficult to make decisions about your future. Failure to prepare will prolong your case and may require more sessions to complete the process.
STUCK IN THE PAST
Mediation is forward-focused. Failing to plan for the future will keep you stuck. It can feel more comfortable to stay attached to old behavior patterns and beliefs. Beware of this trap and stop looking in the rearview mirror. Now is the time to make decisions about your future and the future of your family. Your mediator is trained to keep the conversation moving in a future-focused direction. If you are not willing to let go of the past and make plans moving forward, a judge or attorney will end up making those decisions for you.
Be realistic! The divorce process divides your assets and debts between you and your spouse, and each of you will receive a piece of the “pie.” Expecting to keep your current lifestyle is not a successful long-term strategy and often causes disappointment. When families separate and two households are formed, the additional expense of maintaining two mortgages, two electric bills, etc., on the same income can be challenging. For the average family, maintaining your current lifestyle is not often realistic or financially feasible. Keep your expectations in check!
BLAMING YOUR MEDIATOR
Mediators are neutral and will not take sides. Often folks come to mediation trying to plead their case and want to be “right.” However, both sides are equally heard in mediation, and your mediator will not evaluate or take a position. Convincing your mediator that your position is best and the other’s position is wrong is not the goal of mediation. Wasting time blaming others is never helpful and can derail your mediation process.
If you are ready to make plans for your future, give mediation a try. It is a proven method that can help you and your family move forward peacefully. Your family does not belong in court. If you would like to learn more about how mediation can work for you and your family, schedule a consultation here: Clement Mediation.